All-day sickness

I’m officially 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and I feel horrendous. I think this is worse than what I had with Silas, and earlier. With Silas, I actually lost weight in the first trimester, I was so sick, but I don’t remember it kicking in until a few weeks later. Maybe it’s the drugs, maybe it’s my age, maybe my body is freaking out because it knows the baby isn’t mine. Possibly all of the above.

I’m having a rough time. I’m getting car sick, even if I’m driving, and we have a few road trips coming up (just got back from one to WV, thought those country roads were going to kill me). I’m waking up feeling sick in the middle of the night. It’s hitting me at random intervals all day. Ugh. So gross. I’m not a puker, I just feel constantly like I’m about to throw up. The thought of food grosses me out and yet I also know intellectually that not eating will make it worse.

That wonderful early pregnancy symptom of being able to sleep soundly at the drop of a hat has not come to me yet, although I’m pretty tired all the time.

I feel bad complaining to Natalie about it when she asks how I’m feeling. I don’t want to be a whiner. Also, I know she would rather she was the one who was pregnant, even if it meant feeling pretty miserable. Also, it’s not like I didn’t know this was possible. It’s not like this whole thing was an accident.

It’s an awkward position to be in. I’m just hoping that I feel better once I’m off the meds (three more weeks!). But I’ve talked with other gestational carriers and they’ve said it was worse at that point. Gross.

And yes, I’m generally just stressed about a thousand things in my life, which isn’t helping with the sleep stuff.

Thank God for my friends. Petra and I went to Bethany’s this morning and she gave me the first little cup of coffee I’ve had in ages and a bowl of Greek yogurt with fresh sliced peaches and a drizzle of honey and cinnamon and sprigs of mint. I swear it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten, and I felt better for a little bit. And then not so much.

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